Long Division Isn't Real

I was looking through my unpublished entries this morning and I found this: 4 th  grade – The year I was homeschooled.    Mom had to bribe m...

WELCOME TO THE MOST FESTIVE FUCKING BLOG EVER

Ouch. Why?

I injured myself yesterday.  You might be wondering if this injury occurred while I was rescuing a child from a burning building, but no. It...

Urban Dictionary Thinks I'm an Alien Clown. Also? A Blow Job

When you find yourself in the midst of an existential crisis, it is often helpful to consult the internet.  The internet is just full of use...

It's Like There Was a Zombie Apocalypse and Then There Was Something That Came Along and Got Rid of The Zombies and Now it's Just Me and Boyfriend

At around midnight last night, it started snowing.  A lot. I got absurdly excited about it.  I was like "Ohmigoditssnowingletsgoforawal...

Yet Another Good Example of Why I Shouldn't Blog at 2:30 in the Morning

Boyfriend and I watched a movie tonight and the movie had Michael Cera in it.  During the movie, Boyfriend said "You totally have a cru...

THEY WERE IN MY ROOM THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!

Oh my God, you guys: = (If you were confused by that picture and/or didn't recognize it, go HERE   first.) How did I not see it before? ...