I Need to be Famous by Thursday

I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I am not cut out to be a productive member of society. I originally intended to become a doc...

Am I Going To Die??

I woke up yesterday morning and became vaguely aware that my right toe felt like - well, the best way to describe it would be "dying-de...

It's Game Time! Vote For the Winner!

I challenged my fellow blogger, Kaloo , to a duel.  The idea is that our readers will vote for which of the following MS paint creatures wou...

WARNING: I Am Learning How To Do Computer Stuff. Blog Layout May Change Often.

I am just figuring out all this HTML business, so it is only natural for me to experiment with it.  I am halfway thinking about changing the...

Thing of the Day: Oscillating Fan. Rating: AWESOME

Dear Oscillating Fan,  I commend you for your selfless efforts at keeping me comfortable.  No matter how hot it is, you patiently sit there ...

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I finally got to call the Poison Control Hotline

I woke up late yesterday.  That meant that I had to do my 15-mile run during the hottest part of the day.  Raw stupidity coupled with an unr...

Thing of the Day: Remote. Rating: NOT AWESOME

Remote, you have one function:   controlling the TV from a distance so that I do not have to get off the couch.   It kind of defeats the p...

Thing of the Day: Microwave. Rating: NOT AWESOME

Microwave, we need to get a few things straight here.   First and foremost, five consecutive beeps is more than enough to alert me that you ...

One Day Without Dessert and I am Already Considering Prostitution

I made the mistake of checking my bank account balance yesterday. Let's just say that if my account balance was a pile of rocks, I would...

I am Sorry, Insomniac-Musician-Neighbor (Part 2 of My Neighbor Saga)

Today, Insomniac-Musician-Neighbo r, you managed to redeem yourself. You see, Insomniac-Musician-Neighbo r, I managed to contract the Mutant...

An Open Letter to My Neighbors (My Neighbor Saga Part 1)

Dear Neighbors, My couch is vibrating from the baseline of your horrible oompa loompa music.  From what I can hear, this “music” consists of...