Women Are Not Bears

I wrote something for Cracked.com today. I originally intended it to be an advice piece about relationships and communication because that t...

Twitter is Dead to Me. So I Gave it twAIDS.

I normally wouldn't post something like this because I'm classier than that and I have dignity, but sometimes I just post stuff beca...

Don't Ever Fall Asleep Watching "Land of The Lost"

I think that I might finally have Swine Flu. I'm all achy and pokey.  Most doctors don't understand what I mean when I say I'm f...

How to be Happy, Reclaim Your Youth and Also Vanquish a Centaur. *Hint*: Bacon is Involved

In the world, there are things.  Some of them suck, some of them are awesome and some of them are just okay.  Some of them smell/taste like ...

Rodent

This is Sasha: Sasha had surgery today. She had to get a tumor removed. I am quite attached to Sasha and her surgery was a little risky beca...

Stephen King Probably Invented Cancer, Too

I was procrastinating on writing a blog post, so I took an ADHD test online. I answered all the questions honestly and I thought the results...

Nevermind... I Found It

But I'm still drunk.

Drunk. Need Chap STick

I am drunk. I need some fucking chapstick.  That is all.

Drunken Email/Drunken Video

Tonight, I received the following email: " I'm drunk and I think it would be a wonderfull idea to see how many words I can construe...

Lieutenant Horatio Cane from CSI: Miami Hates My Boobies

I stayed up until 4:00 AM last night for no reason.  I was doing so well with going to bed early, but then I just couldn’t control myself la...

Billy Joel Almost Killed Me

I just realized that I should probably post something today... then I was like, “well,what should I post?”  I thought about posting Part 2 o...

Sometimes I am Overwhelmed by How Awesome You Guys Are...

Sometimes I read through my comments and I almost feel guilty because some of them are so unbelievably funny that I feel bad for having th...